This is the tale of three lads in a Kia Rio who drove 9000 miles across the world through 14 countries and lands they had never heard of.  On the 23rd July 2010 Robert Meechan (of Glasgow University), Christopher Smith (also of Glasgow University) and Mark Rogerson (a recent graduate of Kingston University) all 22 set off from the Meechan Residence in Northumberland aiming to reach Ulaan Bataar the capitol city of Mongolia.  It was a drive they were all hoping to make but had all the odds against them.  The vehicle chosen for this task was a 2003 Kia Rio, our select one had been crashed just before we bought it and had had seven owners already in as many years, this did not look hopeful. we spent 35 days on the road (and lack of road) until we eventually pulled into Ulaan Bataar, we'd had two break downs and one tyre change on the journey, some would say that was lucky. The following series of events is how we got there and what happened to us on the way.  The following Pages describe our experiences, The first is a diary of our first stage but this got tiresome so we thought we'd bring you some answers to what to expect and what we found,

The UK and Festival of Slow 

We set off around mid-day after an agonising wait for the camping stove we had purchased.  It had not been delivered to the store on time and after picking Chris up we had to wait another hour for the stove to be delivered.  After everything was packed up systematically we headed off to Manchester to pick up a van tyre for the spare wheel, van tyres we must add are the part of the two single must have modifications for the Mongol Rally, that and a good sump guard, these were our mods and they did us proud.  This was the start of our disorganised boot as everything had to be removed to get to the spare wheel then put back in place, the order of which we had already forgotten. We hit the road again and left Manchester to hit mad M6 traffic which delayed us greatly for our 6pm Goodwood arrival. After a long day on the road and a who will piss first (Rob had drank too much tea and coffee in the morning so broke first just outside Goodwood park) we got to the camp site after dark where we set up camp and started our Goodwood party.  First port of call was the bar and grill where we restocked on vital fluids and energy.  We met up with some teams and a game of beer pong pairs was initiated where the forfeit was a lap of the camp site bollock naked.  It came around to Lets Get Ready To Mongol's game and as a forfeit for pissing first it was rob's obligation to take up the ping pong balls with hector of Lost, Stuck and a Smoking Radiator, they lost much to the amusement to everyone else.  After this the party kicked off with harassing pretty much everyone and causing havoc all around.

Early morning sore heads all around and the whole camp moved into the circuit and parked up in the paddocks.  There were clearly plenty teams and this was the first time that the scale of this event was clear, this was only one start point and there was an absolute mass of vehicles being released with the hope of reaching Mongolia.  We registered our team and got on with discovering the other cars that were on offer for the Mongolian public in the near future.  We spied another Kia Rio in the paddock and went over for a chat, the alternate Rio belonged to a German fellow who was doing the rally one year following his brother's footsteps.  We compared cars and modifications then decided we would both be very lucky to make it in a South Korean car 9000 miles across the world mainly on rough terrain. The entertainment began and then before we knew it we were doing a parade lap of Goodwood and were ushered out of the stadium, this was it, the rally had properly began and our first port of call?.....KFC.  We all craved some fried chicken so headed into Brighton on our way past to start the rally in style, took a while finding the KFC and parked outside.  Whilst eating we noticed the first bit of interest in the car as passers by checked it out and paused upon several occasions.  Chicken devoured and it was time to head to Dover for the ferry, en routé we saw a red swift belonging to Team Fudge who we took pride in bitching on a back road, this bitching of cars was to become a soon found hobby of the Kia.  Once in Dover a little early we went for a pint with Team Fudge and speculated upon the road ahead untill it was time to head to port and check onto the ferry.  In the ferry terminal we saw plenty of other rally vehicles and a few were bound for the ferry we'd booked on. whilst waiting to get on the ferry a Belgium family took interest in our car and adventure, after a chat to them they signed the car and went back to their car just as it was boarding time.

Release the Horses

On the ferry we noticed a couple of guys wearing the official rally T-shirts so we sat with them got the drinks in and got chatting.  They were from Team Schfifty Five and were a duo, one Gentleman name Chris and the Other named Oli, another team also joined us under the name Backflips.  Our origional plan was to stop just short of Germany after dismounting the ferry but after talking to Chris and Oli this was quickly changed to a four car convoy to Köln, a journey that would take us through four countries and until 5:30am.  The fourth team was Gobi Car Get Bataar'd, who we met as we got off the ferry, they were a couple of Naval Engineers Doug and Olly, Olly it turned out was a tad excited by the European roads and should not have been let behind the wheel of their Nissan Micra, especially when there is a hard shoulder and junctions about with slow caravaners driving near. We quickly lost the Backflips and Gobi boys as they were slower and us and sch55 decided to release some of the horses encompassed with in our engines, the Gobi boys eventually caught up and we rolled into a service station outside of Köln and slept on the floor next to the cars.Köln, a journey that would take us through four countries and until 5:30am.  The fourth team was Gobi Car Get Bataar'd, who we met as we got off the ferry, they were a couple of Naval Engineers Doug and Olly, Olly it turned out was a tad excited by the European roads and should not have been let behind the wheel of their Nissan Micra, especially when there is a hard shoulder and junctions about with slow caravaners driving near. We quickly lost the Backflips and Gobi boys as they were slower and us and sch55 decided to release some of the horses encompassed with in our engines, the Gobi boys eventually caught up and we rolled into a service station outside of Köln and slept on the floor next to the cars.

One and a half hours into our comfortable German sleep we were awoken by some five German police officers, our major mistake is that we'd chosen a service station attached to a highway police station. The reason for our awakening was not mainly due to our chosen sleeping location but because we were illegal street racers, a rediculous alligation for three heavily loaded small engined cars travelling on the Autobahn, we tried to explain that their recommended speed was only a hope for our cars not a surpassable possibility.  After an hour and a half of our time for the imaginary crime we were aloud to get on our way, next stop the Nurburgring.  We dropped Chris off in the city centre to see a friend and the rest of us headed south to the ring.  We assumed that as this was the day of the German Grand Prix that the Nurburgring would be quite quiet as all Deutsch motor enthusiasts would be busy watching that.  We were wrong, the Truck Grand Prix had made it's way to the Nurburgring for this particular occasion ad was blocking up all the roads, who knew the Truck Grand Prix was so popular in Germany?  We eventually parked up down a side road just off the ring and set about finding out how to get on the track in our cars, we say set about but we mean we sent Gobi Car Get Bataar'd to do the leg work whilst the other two teams drank tea and made beans and egg for lunch.  The information fed back to us was that of a 2 hour que to get onto the ring and we speculated on whether this was worth it............. fuck it it was well worth it.  

We headed up and to our surprise there was zero que just a car park full of expensive cars and a kiosk to buy your entry fee.  We bought two laps and set about driving round, Mark took the first drive. We feel that this was the single most scary drive of our lives as you tootle along cluelessly 150mph+ motor cars make their way towards you and pass you at speeds incredibly faster than that of your own speed....aka scary.  After the first lap things went wrong on the track which delayed us for our second lap but when that came around Rob and Olly of the Gobi boys took it on them selves to have a highly competitive lap, in practise the Gobi boys won but that was due to circumstances the Rio was the real winner.  We set off back to Köln for Chris and sent our tent with the other two to find a camp spot near the Czech boarder.  When we met up with the others all was set up and we set out for dinner and beer before bed.

Czech this crash out 

The camp site office didn't open till 8am so we'd had the idea to get up before this and escape without paying (an act we do not condone at all) but the pesky efficient Germans had closed the gate and locked us all in, in classic German efficiency.  We paid eventually and got on our way, stopping at a supermarket just on our way out of town, here they sold a delicious looking home croissant making kit, all you do is roll them out.  This kit gave us an idea for a Engine Bay cooking competition The three cars got two croissants in total and had to bake them in the engine bay of their cars, we set up a pretty dodgey looking mess tin strapped to the engine block arrangement and then we all hit the road for some excellent mountain roads, thanks to Oli and Chris' map.  The road down from the top of a Czech mountain was the perfect opportunity for Rob to release the horses again and have some more fun, we left the Convoy in the dust.  Once the Gobi Boys and Schfifty Five caught up we navigated a lovely picturesque Czech town, heading out of the town were some road works and Oli of Shfifty Five was obviously having too much fun looking at the town and not the road causing a 3 car Mongol Rally pile up with the Micra sandwiched between our Rio and a Corsa.  A man in his garden observed and waited for the response to such a crash, we think he was disappointed with the response, that if a comradely cheer and laughter about our situation.  The Rio came out quite well with minimal damage, the Micra had a broken boot lid, had to be kicked shut with a Naval kick and the corsa?  Bent front cross member and a near smash of the windscreen due to the fact that the Roof box had slid forward on it's rails, this took 6 of us to reset.  This incident, on day three caused us to no longer car so much about the cars and collisions became common place after this, especially as we hit the Czech Out Party camp site where a plot finding destruction derby took place, most hits were small but some caused substantial dinting and scars.

The Czech out party was pretty good, got some Bratwurst and Hog-roast for dinner, with a fine selection of garnishes.  Spoke to some teams, smoked some shisha, the excitement about what was going to come grew and grew.  There was music supplied and we got to witness for the first time ever the excellent dancing style of a Mr Douglas Clutterbuck, can be described as interesting.  The morning after rolled around and we woke up in the tent with an added extra person whom non of us had met before, this took a while to kick in and when the penny dropped he left in haste.  It had only been three days since we had met but we were saying our goodbyes to the convoy that we had travelled with, our plan was Bratislava but we'd failed at the party to find a team with the same plan so set out into the Czech countryside armed with a vignette alone.  We later found a team at a Czech service station who were heading to Vienna, although they were unaware that this was where they were heading as they thought it was the phonetic Wien.  We decided we liked their plan so set off with the Asphalt Arsenists, next stop Vienna.  We planned to stay in a Hotel in Vienna but this proved expensive and there was a very attractive looking Lake out of the city so we headed down there to cam with the intention of returning in the Morning and seeing the city.  The large lake was difficult to find so we gave up and pitched roadside.  

Now what we found with, 

Boarder Crossings